EP16 - Commitment

The questions guide me though considering my commitments and how I prioritise these, including committing time and nourishment for myself. It questions how reliable I am and time when I am and am not reliable, how I break commitments and why. It looked at my commitment to others and finally my commitment to my own recovery. This got me thinking through my positives and negatives, and for the first time thinking with empathy and compassion for myself about why I break certain commitments and the negative cycle of guilt that ensues. Overall, I have realised my commitment to my own growth means I am able to handle difficult situations much better than ever before and I can give that back to others through sharing my experience and giving service, which ultimately leads to a healthier and happier life.

EP15 - Trust

This episode is about Trust. I answer questions on how I trust myself, I look at my behaviour and how I am trustworthy and ways I have been untrustworthy. The questions get me to consider what I find trustworthy in others and what behaviours eradicate my trust, then I look at my own and realise so many behaviours I see in others, I am also guilty of. By looking at the positive and negatives I can see my progress and realign my subconscious processes and how I can keep aware of these, trusting I already have all the answers I could ever need to all the questions I will ever have. The key to finding them is to go inside and become acquainted with myself.

EP14 - Relationships

This episode is on Relationships, which was always going to be a difficult one to go through, but as usual it did not disappoint. Guided through a framework of questions I look at significant relationships in my life; My interactions; My choices; the things I bring to my relationships – positive and negative; broken relationships, and conflicts. This one was an emotional rollercoaster but enlightening. Highlighting that all individuals are responsible for making an effort for a relationship to work, and that work can begin with me. My behaviour is a powerful example to those around me and as I go through this journey, my self-esteem improves and in turn the quality of my relationships improve. If I do my best in all my encounters people notice and respond accordingly.

EP13 - Shame

In this episode I answer questions on shame, my feelings of shame, recognising it and making better choices. It has really highlighted many things to me, how feelings of shame affect my behaviour and perspectives, how many instances of shame I feel are actually not mine to feel shameful for, but when they are I can make amends and learn. The biggest revelation from this topic is that shame is the greatest obstacle to learning from our mistakes. A shame filled mind refuses to allow acceptance for the fact we are human beings, that are bound to make mistakes. As I become more self-aware I can recognise my feelings of shame and share them with others, which disrupts my negative thought patterns and turn them into positive blessings that help me to create a better future.

EP12 - Guilt

Going through these questions I have learnt more about the guilt I feel for people, things and situations and how this affects my thoughts and behaviour. It has opened my eyes to the guilt and responsibilities I take on that don’t belong to me. It has started me on a process of beginning to recognise and identify what is, and is not, my responsibility; what I have been responsible for; how my feelings of guilt turn to shame and how damaging a negative emotion like guilt can be. Thinking through this subject has been painful but enlightening.

EP11 - Finances

The questions guide me through thinking over how I manage money, my financial priorities, financial security and control. It has opened my eyes to how I think and deal with financial matters, how much pressure I put on myself and how money anxiety, worry and fear affect me. But also pride and gratitude for what I’ve got - and now, a newfound awareness of behaviours that do, and do not, serve me.

EP10 - Responsibilities

I look at how I learned what responsibility is and how responsible I was young. I look at how I am learning to figure out the difference between what and who is and is not my responsibility and the things I do now and the responsibilities of others that I take on. This topic taught me the value of remembering that, I alone, am responsible for my happiness. Everything I have discovered about myself in this topic has really highlighted that it really does begin with me.

EP09 - Communication

The questions guide me though thinking over challenges in communicating, the ways I communicate, how I communicate my needs, the things I find difficult to talk about and how I interact with difficult communication. I look at how I am understood and how I understand others. After initially thinking communication was my biggest strength, this topic highlighted my struggles and the things I need to be aware of and work on. As I learn to communicate healthily and shift my perspective, I can find better ways to express myself bringing me peace and serenity.

EP08 - Attitudes

By exploring this topic I am able to begin to learn about the early influences and circumstances that may have conditioned me to see the world in a particular way, affecting how I feel, think and act and the choices I have today. I’ve learnt that finding a balance, focusing on myself – the way I perceive things at any given time, and my choices and actions, all begin with me. If I find balance in my glass being half full of half empty, my mind remains open and I can cope with life much better.

EP07 - Control

By using a set of questions I explore the power relations I grew up with and the ways in which I exert control over others now. Examining this has allowed me to understand healthier boundaries and relationships with others, as well as what I can and can’t control and what is and is not my responsibility. It has given me a greater understanding of the illusion of control, being accountable for my own actions and the ability to let go of expectations and perfectionism and the unrealistic expectations I have of myself.

EP06 - Justification

By using a set of questions I am able to explore behaviours I find unacceptable and then look at my own. How I’ve justified my own behaviours and actions and when I’ve gone against my own beliefs. I found I am a master at rationalizing things I’ve done and failed to see when I was wrong. When I can be objective and honest with myself about my situation I can start to see the part I played and I can take responsibility with compassion and learn new responses to old problems.

EP05 - Anger

On this episode I talk through the questions in the framework that encouraged me to explore my experience of anger as a child to the present day. It has helped me to understand more about myself, discover my triggers and how to reflect on and recognise what is behind the emotion which helps me to cope with angry feelings when they come up. I have realised feeling anger is not the problem, how I deal with it is. Anger can actually motivate us to achieve and defend good things, but only if it is channelled in a positive way. If I keep the focus on me and deal with my own feelings I can correct behaviours that don’t serve me and relearn and re-wire my brain to deal with anger in a healthier way leading to a happier and healthier life.

EP04 - Fear

I talk through the framework of questions I used to explore the fears I have, where they come from and how I cope with them, which starts an awareness of how fear impacts my behaviour, thoughts and decision making. It resurfaced memories of when I’ve been afraid and hindered myself from progress, and times when I’d been courageous and the lessons I learnt, which I can now use to influence my present.