EP12 - Guilt

Going through these questions I have learnt more about the guilt I feel for people, things and situations and how this affects my thoughts and behaviour. It has opened my eyes to the guilt and responsibilities I take on that don’t belong to me. It has started me on a process of beginning to recognise and identify what is, and is not, my responsibility; what I have been responsible for; how my feelings of guilt turn to shame and how damaging a negative emotion like guilt can be. Thinking through this subject has been painful but enlightening.

EP11 - Finances

The questions guide me through thinking over how I manage money, my financial priorities, financial security and control. It has opened my eyes to how I think and deal with financial matters, how much pressure I put on myself and how money anxiety, worry and fear affect me. But also pride and gratitude for what I’ve got - and now, a newfound awareness of behaviours that do, and do not, serve me.

EP10 - Responsibilities

I look at how I learned what responsibility is and how responsible I was young. I look at how I am learning to figure out the difference between what and who is and is not my responsibility and the things I do now and the responsibilities of others that I take on. This topic taught me the value of remembering that, I alone, am responsible for my happiness. Everything I have discovered about myself in this topic has really highlighted that it really does begin with me.

EP09 - Communication

The questions guide me though thinking over challenges in communicating, the ways I communicate, how I communicate my needs, the things I find difficult to talk about and how I interact with difficult communication. I look at how I am understood and how I understand others. After initially thinking communication was my biggest strength, this topic highlighted my struggles and the things I need to be aware of and work on. As I learn to communicate healthily and shift my perspective, I can find better ways to express myself bringing me peace and serenity.

EP08 - Attitudes

By exploring this topic I am able to begin to learn about the early influences and circumstances that may have conditioned me to see the world in a particular way, affecting how I feel, think and act and the choices I have today. I’ve learnt that finding a balance, focusing on myself – the way I perceive things at any given time, and my choices and actions, all begin with me. If I find balance in my glass being half full of half empty, my mind remains open and I can cope with life much better.

EP07 - Control

By using a set of questions I explore the power relations I grew up with and the ways in which I exert control over others now. Examining this has allowed me to understand healthier boundaries and relationships with others, as well as what I can and can’t control and what is and is not my responsibility. It has given me a greater understanding of the illusion of control, being accountable for my own actions and the ability to let go of expectations and perfectionism and the unrealistic expectations I have of myself.

EP06 - Justification

By using a set of questions I am able to explore behaviours I find unacceptable and then look at my own. How I’ve justified my own behaviours and actions and when I’ve gone against my own beliefs. I found I am a master at rationalizing things I’ve done and failed to see when I was wrong. When I can be objective and honest with myself about my situation I can start to see the part I played and I can take responsibility with compassion and learn new responses to old problems.

EP05 - Anger

On this episode I talk through the questions in the framework that encouraged me to explore my experience of anger as a child to the present day. It has helped me to understand more about myself, discover my triggers and how to reflect on and recognise what is behind the emotion which helps me to cope with angry feelings when they come up. I have realised feeling anger is not the problem, how I deal with it is. Anger can actually motivate us to achieve and defend good things, but only if it is channelled in a positive way. If I keep the focus on me and deal with my own feelings I can correct behaviours that don’t serve me and relearn and re-wire my brain to deal with anger in a healthier way leading to a happier and healthier life.

EP04 - Fear

I talk through the framework of questions I used to explore the fears I have, where they come from and how I cope with them, which starts an awareness of how fear impacts my behaviour, thoughts and decision making. It resurfaced memories of when I’ve been afraid and hindered myself from progress, and times when I’d been courageous and the lessons I learnt, which I can now use to influence my present.

EP03 - Self-worth

Exploring how I treat myself, how I keep myself safe and looking at the positive aspects of myself, especially the ones I do not give myself credit for. I looked at my own standards and keeping myself in check and find ways to remind myself on a regular basis that life is about Progress not Perfection.

EP02 - Honesty

In this episode I am talking about Honesty. This is an account of my experience of working through a framework which allows me to uncover aspects of my behaviour and where they stem from. I talk about the questions I used to get me thinking about different aspects of honesty and the discoveries I made. Until we get our secrets out into the light, they keep us trapped.

EP01 - Resentment

In this first episode I discuss resentment and how I have begun addressing the resentments I hold and the structure I used to help me do this.

The process for me has been liberating and I hope by sharing others may become aware of some of their own, as after all awareness is the first step to acceptance and action.

EP00 - Introduction

This podcast is an account of my own experience which will hopefully consolidate my own learning as well as being useful to others. Take what you like and leave the rest and we’ll see how this goes!

Find us on your podcast platform of preference and search for Not a Life Coach, I’d love it if you follow along with my journey.